Easter has never been a big celebration in my family. I mostly attribute that to the size of my family, but this easter was different. We wanted to do something and were missing a family member. For years, I was that missing family member and it wasn't until today that I realized how much the lack of my prescence affected my family. It amazes me how much hell and heartache my brother and I have put my mother through. I can never apologize enough or makeup for what the 2 of us have put her through, but I can try. I've always appreciated my family. It just wasn't until today that I realized how much I do and how much I have missed them. Our opposing schedules keep us apart even living under the same roof. I always feel like I will never have enough time in my life to spend with the people I love. I'm young and yet I have so many worries. I always say my ambition will be the death of me and sometimes wish I wasn't so ambitious. I guess it is really a never ending battle. If you can balance your work you love, and time with people you love then you should be the happiest person alive because you truly have everything you could ever need. I hope one day to be able to do that myself. I don't want to waste anymore time regretting. I want to spend my time making a change.
I've also learned about communication today. First, never use a middle man. Despite any fears you may have about the situation, it will always pan out better if the communication is direct. Second, talking in person is ALWAYS ALWAYS the best option especially when your message could be interpreted negatively. So many different ways to communicate and still we have so many misunderstandings. You'd think after thousands of years we'd have this whole communication thing down pat. Guess not. The one good thing about that? It gives me a job and a purpose :)
